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Apr 15, 2005 12:24:47 GMT -5
Post by bigfanofsage on Apr 15, 2005 12:24:47 GMT -5
This is my first try - hope you like it:
The janitor’s name patch was so faded that no one could make out what it said anymore, not that it mattered, he was practically invisible being beneath the notice of students and faculty alike. He was creepy without being threatening. Just a dirty husk of a man, he always hovered just out of sight. Lurking behind corners, outside of rooms, beneath windows. He watched everyone. He listened to the conversations, mentally filing away the juicy bits to replay in the cold sparse room that he kept for himself.
This particular day was a good one. In addition to the strange uproar in the girl's bathroom over who would be that sassy Cally’s friend, he found the locket that she had so quickly thrown away. He thought to himself that this would be a nice addition to the little shrine of student artifacts that he was accumulating.
Pocketing it he had no idea of the trouble that he would soon cause… not that it would have made a difference to him. He cared for nothing and no one but himself.
Lance was in his room on the phone. He was just finishing up a lengthy goodbye with Sage that was so nauseatingly sweet that Cally began making gagging noises while rolling her eyes. Lance grabbed his pillow and threw it at her. She ducked away laughing and Lance turned back to his bed to see the latest issue of Dark Oracle sitting where the pillow had been. He quickly ended the conversation with Sage and called Cally in to see what was in store for them now.
The cover showed a dark shadowy figure with arms outstretched. The only detail visible (aside from his glowing pupil-less eyes) was the strange locket around his neck. Cally immediately recognized the locket as the one that she had discarded mere weeks ago. (The bathroom incident still haunted her dreams) In front of the dark being was a horde of kids with zombie-like stares and outstretched arms. Glassy eyed, they were ambling with a certain dread purpose towards Violet and Blaze. To make matters worse, there were some very recognizable faces in the crowd including Sage, Dizzy and Annie – all who seemed intent on doing harm to our heroes.
The inside of the book was blank. Except for a single message that looked like it was carved into the paper. YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE DISCARDED THE ARTIFACT… NOW I SHALL NEVER BE IGNORED AGAIN.
End of part one
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Apr 15, 2005 13:01:05 GMT -5
Post by Smitty on Apr 15, 2005 13:01:05 GMT -5
You are a really talented writer. This gave me goosebumps!
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Apr 15, 2005 13:21:02 GMT -5
Post by bigfanofsage on Apr 15, 2005 13:21:02 GMT -5
Thanks. I'll try to write some more....
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Apr 15, 2005 13:22:18 GMT -5
Post by CutySuzy on Apr 15, 2005 13:22:18 GMT -5
What a terrific story! I love how you created this scary character who has picked up Cally's locket. I didn't realize until now that she never went back for it. Can't wait for the next instalment.......
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Apr 16, 2005 9:32:47 GMT -5
Post by superpuppy on Apr 16, 2005 9:32:47 GMT -5
Lance was in his room on the phone. He was just finishing up a lengthy goodbye with Sage that was so nauseatingly sweet This part made me laugh so hard... ;D Wicked story! You need to continue it!
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Apr 16, 2005 10:28:54 GMT -5
Post by bigfanofsage on Apr 16, 2005 10:28:54 GMT -5
Popular Part II:
Over the next few days Lance and Cally looked for any signs or clues. The Comic was useless, giving them only the one cryptic message. After a week of searching, they began to slide blissfully back into their routine.
It was the following week when they started noticing the many absences and began hearing reports of stolen goods in the news. Houses and shops started to show signs of crime with broken windows and doors scattered throughout town. By mid week more than half the school was "out sick" - teachers, administrators and students alike. Cally tried calling Annie to find out how she was feeling (being one of the many absent people) only to get a busy signal. Dizzy and Sage vanished the following day. Neither answered their cell phones, email or door.
Although the paper kept reporting a drastic upswing in missing items, the police seemed completely uninterested in becoming involved. The ones that did also quickly took sick leave. Soon the reports stopped coming and the news stopped being reported at all.
Another week had passed and the twins were startled to find that the comic had finally changed. Blaze and Violet were there, looking frightened. They were drawn standing together alone on a white background. There was no ground under their feet, no buildings, nothing but white oblivion. They were obviously and utterly alone.
Shuffle shuffle rip rip.
Lance looked nervously over at Cally. They were sitting together comfortably in the living room. "Did you hear that or was it the comic?" he asked. She shrugged although her cool demeanor was showing some signs of strain her eyes began darting around.
Shuffle shuffle rip rip.
The page tore apart as if unseen claws shredded them. From the nothingness beyond, hands grabbed Blaze and violet dragging them towards the abyss.
The world turned blue as the two suddenly realized that they were in big trouble. A window shattered behind them and as Cally screamed, the front door exploded off its hinges. Lance jumped to his feet trying to pry the frantic Cally from her death grip on his arm in time to see Dizzy, Vern and others swarm through the now wide-open foyer.
Pushing back and trying to escape Lance and Cally were quickly overcome and dragged from the sanctuary of their own home. Before a suffocating helplessness engulfed him, Lance saw that the faces of his captors were all similar - they were pupil-less zombie like masks. He lapsed into unconsciousness as he heard Cally's screams fade to a choking sob and then to nothing.
The Comic lies in the shattered remains of the kid's living room ignored. A gentle breeze blows through the open window and doorway causing the pages to flutter then turn. A picture appears of Violet standing over Blaze's crumpled body with a vacant zombie-like expression on her face.
Consciousness came back to the twins at the school. Lance recognized the principal's office after a brief disorientating moment.
Stiff looking goons that were once classmates and friends surround a shadowy figure. Some of the girl zombies sway back and forth gently yet robotically murmuring hypnotically "I love you" to the dark form.
The menacing figure shrouded in mystery looks at the frightened twins and lifts a dirty clawed hand to point maliciously at them...
"Why do you not worship me?" he hisses. He leans into the light just enough for Lance and Cally to see his face. They both sense that they know this face yet recognition escapes them.
"Do you have any idea what it is like to have everything you ever desired? Every whim fulfilled? Everyone loves me and follows my orders without question. Except for you two. For whatever maddening reason, YOU both seem to be content to ignore my commands. I am enraged and intrigued. A small part of me wants to find out why you are able to withstand my will. However I think I shall just destroy you."
As he says that he stands up and grasping at a pendant (Cally recognizes it instantly) hanging around his neck, stretches out his hand to point at Cally.
"I am now completely focused upon you pretty one. Your will is nothing. You WILL get rid of that nuisance of a brother of your, once and for all!"
Cally could feel his influence in her brain - all the anger she had ever felt at stupid things her brother did bubbled up all at once. She felt an uncontrollable urge to do violence and without even realizing how, crossed the room towards Lance who was now backing away nervously. He backed up almost bumping into the evil figure, stopping just short as Cally whacked him hard in the arm.
"OW! No hitting!" He cried in reflex. Cally blinked, and with lightning reflexes grabbed the locket from around the neck of the menace. As she pulled, the chain snapped and the air became lighter. Cally realized that there was too much to explain if everyone just woke up like this. So, She held the locket tightly and yelled, "If you want to be my friend, go home and forget this ever happened!" The zombies dispersed. Soon only a surprised and angry looking school janitor sat in a defeated heap in the corner. He was rocking back and forth muttering, "I was popular. People loved me. I was popular"...
Cally and Lance took the locket to the shop classroom. Lance took a hammer and demolished it.
As the last of the pieces fell away, the blue shift in the air vanished and they felt the world go back to normal. The janitor ran out of the building and fled the town. He became totally invisible again, being beneath everyones notice.
Lance and Cally went home, Lance rubbing his black and blue arm.
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Apr 18, 2005 16:53:23 GMT -5
Post by Jonathan Smith on Apr 18, 2005 16:53:23 GMT -5
This story is fantastic! I prefer this creepy type. I really like the zombies and how this time the comic doesn't give them any clues. ;D
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Apr 18, 2005 16:55:05 GMT -5
Post by milleniumjono on Apr 18, 2005 16:55:05 GMT -5
I forgot to sign on before so it was me. ;D This story is fantastic! I prefer this creepy type. I really like the zombies and how this time the comic doesn't give them any clues.
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Apr 18, 2005 21:24:24 GMT -5
Post by superpuppy on Apr 18, 2005 21:24:24 GMT -5
Excellent ending! Liked how Lance saying "don't hit" seems to break the spell on Cally. I'm really impressed with how you keep your writing true to the actual details in the show. Very cool.
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Apr 19, 2005 10:36:13 GMT -5
Post by CutySuzy on Apr 19, 2005 10:36:13 GMT -5
Wow - I like your second part even better than the first! It's really descriptive. I could really picture the zombies and that evil janitor.
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Apr 19, 2005 12:01:41 GMT -5
Post by bigfanofsage on Apr 19, 2005 12:01:41 GMT -5
i have plenty of experience with zombies, what with my being one... at least in the mornings.
Thanks!
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Apr 20, 2005 10:55:39 GMT -5
Post by bella on Apr 20, 2005 10:55:39 GMT -5
Very scary. That was great! The only thing I would add is Doyle. I would like to see how you would fit him into the story.
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Apr 20, 2005 12:28:59 GMT -5
Post by bigfanofsage on Apr 20, 2005 12:28:59 GMT -5
This is just for Bella -
As the two twins walked home exhausted from their ordeal, Doyle runs by screaming at a frog, "I'm sorry but you can't drive when like this!"
and he disappears into the comic shop. The end...
LOL
I should have put Doyle in.
Next time.
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Apr 21, 2005 15:35:13 GMT -5
Post by sageiscool on Apr 21, 2005 15:35:13 GMT -5
wow.... this was so creepy, it gave me the shivers! i really liked how the comic wasn't giving them any clues, it made it more suspenseful!
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May 6, 2005 19:59:09 GMT -5
Post by cookie on May 6, 2005 19:59:09 GMT -5
Your story really rocks. I love all the details like how you picked up on Cally's locket on the bathroom floor and turned it into a story. Will you be writing some more?
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